I haven’t written a post in a while. I could start to tell you that I’ve been uninspired. Truthfully, I told myself that, and even believed it for a little while too, honestly. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that actually it hasn’t been from lack of inspiration. I’ve got recipes rolling out left and right (just not posted) and I’ve a steady stream of article ideas going constantly in my mind, and some even written and not shared.
No what I’ve been doing is a lot of living. I’m a firm believer that everything comes in waves and sometimes certain periods of our lives are meant to focus on specific areas and that’s okay. Writing, though I still do it for myself, hasn’t been one of those focuses for me lately.
There’s part of me that feels I should constantly be churning out content for you all, for this amazing community that I’ve some how had the fortune of getting to facilitate. And then I remember how the word should is an asshole, and I feel a little better ;). In all seriousness I am steadfast in my belief that I can’t just write for the sake of writing, that what is meant to be heard, shared or seen will just naturally flow out of me at the moments when it needs to be released. We all receive messages just when we need them, and that’s exactly how I want my writing to be delivered. Landing just where it’s supposed to, when it’s supposed to, for whoever may need it.
This reflection has occurred a lot lately. Between working with people in my day-to-day work life, settling into routines, navigating the dating scene while remaining reserved (and sane), exploring both the natural wilderness and my own wildness, I’ve been creating, manifesting new projects and finishing up my Amba yoga teacher training. I realize that everything I do is to share it with other people. I am compelled by an inner burning desire to enrich my life through these experiences that translate into lessons and anecdotes that shape and mold me, but also help people in ways I never could have imagined. There is power in experiences I’ve had and yet to have.
When I first started my Amba yoga teacher training program nine months ago I went into it with a childlike curiosity and the desire to explore the inner layers of myself. I did not attach myself to the idea of teaching because I didn’t want the pressure of the expectation to “do something” with it other than purely enjoy the journey. You know the saying, “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey”, well I was applying that theory before it began so that I could truly appreciate and immerse myself in whatever showed up.
Over the course of the last nine months I spent hours upon hours, studying embodiment through physical exploration of myself. I’ve shed so many beliefs of myself, accepted others, and enhanced the relationship with my body. My inner child has been nurtured to blossom and I find so much joy from this practice every day. As I’ve been in this space I’ve wanted to share more about it as I was experiencing and yet so much processing of all that I’ve absorbed is still happening that it’s a challenge for me to write about. I found it hard to share much during the fact as I was so enveloped in being there, in showing up for what was in front of me, what was inside of me. That is embodiment. In fact it’s a challenge to write about something that is now an integrated part of my being.
When you learn embodiment it is integrated into your cellular knowledge and your body is reminded of what home is, what safe feels like, senses where it’s been before and where its capacity for expansive growth is.
Amba yoga has taught me worlds upon worlds of things that are sacred. So sacred it’s as though they’ve been passed down from women to women for generations and generations, and yet truly, it has. It’s the dynamic intricacies of nature that already exist in each in every one of us that has some how along the way of developing civilization have been suppressed.
Embodiment is not being attached to your physical form. It’s the opportunity to connect to your body in appreciation for its ability to move as a breathing creature. It is the investment of experiencing life with pure pleasure in how your body moves. It is finding the stability and strength of your body to enjoy every minute movement as a glorious new experience.
I can tell you more that I’ve learned from this training, but I don’t think that is actually what’s useful. It is hard (I dare say impossible) to learn how to inhabit your own body from someone who is not embodied. And the best way to learn how to be embodied is to be in the presence of someone who is deeply rooted in their structure.
What I’ve gained from this practice is truthfully beyond words for justification. So many people ask me what I plan to do now that I’m a “yoga teacher”. My answer is simple, I am committed to sharing this practice with as many people who are open to receiving it.
The difference though, is that doesn’t mean postures and poses and staying on your mat. I didn’t set out to complete this program to simply teach at people. My intention for this was not so that I could teach yoga. No my intention was self-exploration. You can’t give a gift you’re not willing to receive yourself. What I’ve received is the compelling power of knowledge of my own body. Knowledge is power, but often only if use it and the true reality of it is, I can’t not share this.
It feels such a disservice to myself and to the many people I know this will help to keep this experience only for me. But that actually doesn’t truly matter. What matters is that because this is an embodiment practice I am in constant teaching, without “teaching” in an instructional way. It oozes out of me as if I were sharing a spoon full of honey, simply because I am experiencing and know what I am sharing. It’s so incredibly fantastic that I want everyone I know to experience the joy of being in your body. It’s like catching fireflies, you want to show all of your friends because you know how special they are to see. You feel how cool is it that you get to share it with them, see their faces light up and start to make connections in ways they didn’t before.
I am beyond elated to share something so transformative with a community of people who I find to be completely inspired. For those of you who are in the Seattle area, be expecting the opportunity to connect in the same space and the opportunities to learn more. In fact reach out to me in my contact box or if you are eager sign up on my email list for more information.
Here’s to moving, breathing and being in bodies’ together.