Over the past two years I’ve done a lot of personal development into my spiritual connection. By this I mean feeling the spirit of all living things, of nature, of humans, animals, stars, moon and Earth and how all of it makes me feel more connected to myself.
Much of this inquisition has happened through practice and diligence. Much more of it has happened through push-back, difficulties and challenges where I’ve been forced to sit with myself in situations where I’d just rather avoid myself all together. But each of these times were learning points, opportunities for me to go deeper. And deeper.
So deeper I went. Over the summer, during my cross country road trip on my move to Seattle, one of my stops was for this conference. While there I met some of the most incredible individuals that have forever changed my life, and of which I am happy to call friends now. I also had the opportunity to further my journey in connecting to my body.
Over the years of dealing with a disease diagnosis, rejecting that diagnosis with dignity, to embracing it to a fault, to then trying to pick up the pieces of my integrity to somehow make a whole, there was always a lingering disconnect to my physical body. I felt trapped in a different persons body. Surely this couldn’t be my own. It had turned on my so many times. I felt betrayed by this vessel that I was supposed to have a sacred relationship with.
My search for wholeness has always been there, but warped, like trying to see through melted plastic.
While at this conference I met the most incredibly talented and connect woman, Megan Morris the creator of Amba Yoga.
I took her class for women and felt the energy shift within my body as I moved into “what feels good” rather than “what looks good”. And I heard the whisper “you are already whole.”
It wasn’t until later when Megan and I were talking, the first words she spoke to me were how she could see my authentic connection to myself. Blown away is an understatement. Who me? Connected to this body? To my body? She’ll never know how much those words meant to me. I had been working on fostering this relationship, much through yoga, but hadn’t thought I’d truly arrived there yet. I was expecting some grandiose revelation and epiphany where the golden gates open, Angels sing and unicorns prance around, because that is clearly a sign that you’ve reached your destination.
Fast forward a few months, I decided that it was time to go even deeper. This time by way of Amba, and through getting my yoga teach certification. It’s never crossed my mind to be a yoga teacher, nor do I know in what capacities and ways I will use what I’ve learned, but I know how immensely movement has helped me, and because of this I know I can use it to help many of you.
“Amba is an embodied practice of yoga, movement, and dance that is based in the elements found in nature. The practice ranges from strong, earthen postures to fluid, sensuous movement to nourishing breath and sound to deeply restful stillness.
Amba teaches you awakening your physical vibrancy so that you have access to the richness and pure joy of being alive in a physical body.
Many Amba offerings are specifically designed for women. As women, when we have permission to discover our own unique movement – the movement that feels really, deliciously good from the inside out, our spirits get fed and our bodies get nourished.
Amba embraces the balance of hard work and deep rest, sensuousness and higher awareness, individual exploration and community learning. Amba workshops and retreats for women have 3 components: movement, nature, and community. Through physical yoga and movement practices we become more alive and awaken the elements within us. Through nature adventures, we connect to the awe and power of the elements on the planet. We open to the nourishment of the natural forces. Through social gatherings such as Amba Lodge, singing circles, mandala making, and group sharing, we awaken the vibrancy of our hearts and learn from one another. “
Amba provides the space and grace to exist as exactly as we are, in all our abilities, movements, challenges and unique body’s. It’s about being fully present with our animal body and nurturing the relationship between it and our soul weaving a symbiotic partnership.
For the past few months I have gone to this training for one weekend, I go to LA I spend a few days in the swell of love from other women like myself, in nourishing movement and in deep connection. Then I come home and I put all of this into practice for daily life. My thought is, how can I connect more today? Where am I not connected right now?
Because the reality is, there is no point of arrival. The final destination doesn’t exist. It isn’t about perfection, but instead continual refinement. It is entirely about continually arriving in presence, arriving for yourself, and connecting to your vital life force, to your body that allows you to fulfill your soul’s greater purpose.
As I prepare to leave again this weekend, I am enriched by the New Year and eager to see how this journey develops over time, and even more so, happy to be sharing what I learn with all of you.
Tell me, how has movement helped you?
Wow- this post is beautiful. i just came across your blog for the first time and am so happy I did. I relate to so much of what you have just said here. What an amazing journey you’ve been on. I found yoga at a time in my life where anxiety and panic had become every day emotions. The freedom that the movement of yoga afforded my body and mind can’t even be explained in words… It was like it turned my whole life around, upside down, and it was amazing.
Thank you so much Sheeva for your comment. It makes me so happy when people find me randomly! I am so glad yoga has helped you make space to open up and move, it’s truly incredible. Thank you for sharing your journey with me!